Your finger hovers over the screen, the ball continues rounding the inside of the circle. Top spike, don’t click. Another top spike, don’t click. Phew, there’s a bunch of these in a row, the next one has to be in inside spike. 7, 8, 9, (tap)… “SHIT.” It was just another top spike. I’m way too twitchy sometimes.
Remember that game where you put your hands over someone else’s hands, and you have to move out of the way before they slap yours? This is like that, but probably more detrimental to your psyche in the long run.
17 year-old Joe Ware’s Circle Spike is another in a long line of games that give a very simple task, and then make it infuriating to execute on. Think Flappy Bird. Here you’re asked to watch a small white ball spin around a circle, and each tap on the screen switches its rotation from the inside or the outside. Spikes pop up at random on either side, and you have to tap quickly to avoid them. That’s it. That’s all you have to do, and it’ll make you very pissed off when you can’t do it.
You have to be fast. When a spike shoots out in front of you, you’ve got a fraction of a second to tap the screen and get out of the way. And right after that another spike will shoot out. If you’re already on the inside and a spike shoots from the top of the circle, you’re totally safe. But the game requires such fast, twitchy actions, half of the time you’ll tap the screen anyway. This leads to a certain, but very avoidable, death. And anger. Lots of anger.
The game uses your twitchiness to make you click a bunch of ads, too. When you get hit by a spike, sometimes an ad will pop up immediately afterwards, right when your finger is slamming down in the milliseconds that you think you could still avoid it. This nets you a cool ad for Candy Crammers or some other garbage like that. I would be more upset if it wasn’t so easy to click back into the game, and also if it wasn’t such a clever way to make you click on 95% of the ads it throws at you.
The game is free to play as much as you want, and tossing them a dollar gets rid of all the ads, speeding up the process of you dying on spike #1 again. I’ve hate-enjoyed Circle Spike enough that I don’t mind paying $1 to make more awful-wonderful things like this happen.
Right now I’m sitting at 23 points, which I have no idea how I managed to get. Sometimes you just get in the zone, you know? If you’re up for taking me down a peg on my leaderboard, check out Circle Spike for free on iOS. And then delete it immediately. Please, for your sake.
…I’m still playing it. Help.