If you think The Onion / Clickhole are Good Websites™, you should be playing through their Clickventure and Quiz series. The cheerfully titled “Plan Your Son’s Funeral!” is the newest, and one of the best I’ve played yet.

Soon after heading to the funeral home to start the day, you’ll meet Richard P. Wormwell III, and well, things start to get a little weird. Like the rest of the series, multiple ending are placed throughout, and each of them is just as fantastic as the last. In one of them, Mr. Wormwell calmly warned me of my impending death, and then murdered me. In another, I ditched the funeral entirely, spent $7000 on couches and a television, and then punched a ghost in the face.

It’s dark, hilarious, and continues to showcase why Clickhole is one of the best things to happen to the internet in a long time. If you would like to punch a ghost in the face, start your clicking right here.

I AM THE BALL KING!

Sitting atop my friend’s leaderboard with a rock solid 20 goals, I’m the currently hailing Ball King (of people that I know, of course.) Ball King is half addiction, half great game, and all about swishing sweet hoops.

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Imagine Call of Duty except cartoon squids at a Nickelodeon game show. Okay bye I just sold you Splatoon have a nice day.

Still not convinced? Splatoon is Nintendo’s best new series since Animal Crossing, and you’re probably going to fall in love with it in ways you don’t expect, even if action-y shooters aren’t typically your bag. (more…)

Even if you miss the tribute to Lynch and Jodorowski in the game’s description, it’ll take only a few minutes of play to see where A Box Full of Joy’s inspirations lie. Set in a dreamscape of confusing images and unreality, Daniil Ermakov‘s latest is a must-play for anyone looking for something a bit…different.

From the opening screen, you’re character’s bloody injury tells a tale of things gone wrong, and things only escalate from there. You’ll pick up a knife and stumble from an alley into a bar, where you’re warned that things may only get worse.

Movies like Mulholland Drive start by drawing you in with a relatable, or at least, understandable, premise, and then rip the rug out from under you just when you’ve started putting the pieces together. A Box Full of Joy condenses this process into a wonderful 10 minute short-story, woven through the context of a point-and-click adventure game. You’ll point and click your way through some stunning environments that evolve as you progress, and change even more once you start abusing the nondescript pills found in the trash.

The grainy visuals and odd dialogue come together to create an unnerving atmosphere, and a game I can recommend to anyone who isn’t dead-set on having a traditional narrative. I still have little idea about what really happened, but as with much of this type of surreal fiction, the journey is still worth taking regardless of what you take away from it. There’s already some interesting discussion on the game’s page if you’re ready to dig a little deeper.

-One quick warning though, the ending that I got led to me walking indefinitely through an empty field, so don’t waste too much time if you get stuck there too, I’m pretty sure that’s just it.-

If you’re up for a disturbing jaunt through another world, try the game on GameJolt for free, here.

One of MANY thoughts going through my head as I played Glasses Protector 2000 was “Everyone has to know about this. All games should be this.”

Ludum Dare 32’s theme of “An Unconventional Weapon” has given birth to Glasses Protector 2000, a new game from itch.io founder Leaf Corcoran.

Starting off with the greatest instructions of all time “Use -1- and -2- to flick tongue,” it takes about five seconds to see what GP2000 is all about. It’s a rhythm game in which you lick flying candy off of your face to the beat of some jammin’ tracks.

If you’re not already downloading it, I’m not sure you understood me correctly. It’s like Rock Band, except tongues.

Have a nice day.