You should, if you’re into that kind of thing.

In the vein of good demakes like Soundless Mountain and 2D Portal, The Wit.nes takes another modern classic and shrinks it down into some retro wrappings. If you haven’t played The Witness yet (you should) The Wit.nes is a free NES rom that replicates the game’s opening in the most modest of styles. It, well…it looks less like an NES game and more like an even older PC or Atari game, but we’ll let it slide because of the top notch wordplay. But come on, we couldn’t even get a walk cycle?

If you’ve already played The Witness, you’ll quickly blow through the set of early-game puzzles this demake throws at you. If you haven’t, The Wit.nes introduces you to the base mechanic of its inspiration: lots of grid-based mazes. Without the giant, beautiful world, though, The Wit.nes feels a bit shallow. The puzzles are still satisfying to solve, but I doubt this would be on many people’s “BEST NES GAMES OF ALL TIME” list if it were released like this back in 1986. The Witness works because of a massive world, and the way its puzzles integrate into it.

As it stands now, though, The Wit.nes is a cute introduction to a much larger undertaking, and a way to get eased in if you thought the real thing was too much to handle. The demake is also labeled as a demo right now, so I’m really curious to see if the game’s currently small scale increases if the project continues.

If you’re ready to witness the simplest version of 2016’s most complex game, check out The Wit.nes on dustmop’s itch.io page.

This dog is not good at typing.

(more…)

If you know me at all, it’s not a huge secret what’s going to win this month. What’s cool though, is how many good games came out in April that weren’t called Dark Souls. There were quite a few!

1. Dark Souls 3

Though I played a few other things this month, let’s get this out of the way: I played about 50 hours of Dark Souls 3.

Expect some more in-depth thoughts about that game from me as time goes on and I can run deeper into a second playthrough, but as for first impressions…

1. I like it way, way, way more than Bloodborne.

2. I wish it felt more unique.

3. It’s my least favorite Souls game of the 4 “Souls” titles, but I still had an amazing time with it.

4. It probably has my least favorite collection of bosses and areas in the proper Souls series.

5. If you have any interest in Souls, don’t skip this. But be prepared for Souls fatigue to set in towards the end.

I hope Miyazaki gets a well-deserved break from the series after this, because it seems like the idea well might be running a little dry. That isn’t to say there aren’t some fantastic moments in Dark Souls 3, but it’s the least fantastic game in a series that changed how a lot of us view and play video games. RIP sweet Souls. Here’s looking towards a fresh start for Miyazaki and Co.

2. Ratchet and Clank

They did it! This weird remake/reimagining of the first Ratchet and Clank is actually wonderful! It’s a clever mix of the strengths of the entire first series, all inside a brand new take on the game’s pioneer entry. Levels feel very familiar but still hold enough surprises to keep veterans chasing the next gold bolt, and if you’ve never played the series before…this is probably the best start you could have asked for.

3. Enter the Gungeon

The first Binding of Isaac-like that I’ve really gotten into! Don’t be put off by the lame promotional art, Gungeon has style and substance to spare. The cutesy characters (those little bullets have guns!!) and inventive weaponry will carry you for hours and hours as you descend deeper into said Gungeon. Good writing, loads of secrets and more will keep you coming back if you’ve ever had any interest in difficult roguelikes. I’ve played Nuclear Throne and other kin sprung from this style, but none of them have grabbed me the way this one has.

Honorable Mentions:

Nioh (Alpha) – For an alpha, this one’s shaping up to be something really cool. There’s a lot of Souls DNA here, but enough of its own style to not feel like a copy. This is one to watch.

Mirror’s Edge Catalyst (Beta) – I’ve missed Mirror’s Edge. A lot. I was a bit disappointed once I was thrown into the open world, but the linear missions still shine the way they did back in 2008. I’ve got…ugh…Faith in this one. (I’m sorry.)

Quantum Break – The half-hour I spent with it had some super neat story stuff followed by some dumb gunplay mixed with time travel. I plan on getting back to this at some point, if only because I have so much good will towards Remedy after Alan Wake. We’ll see.

Any Clickventure On ClickHole – Murderfull Manor and the one about touching a camel were pretty good this month. But, seriously, just go play them. I’m going to keep reminding you.

I’m late, but I’ve been playing Dark Souls 3 so it’s cool.

March had a lot of stuff! Thanks to Hyper Light Drifter being very good, and coming out on literally the last day of the month, that pushed this post back a bit, too. I liked The Division a lot more than I care to admit, and replaying Twilight Princess was fun, but probably also not the best use of my time. But I have Dark Souls now, and it’s all over for everything else for a while. So let’s see what games I’ll be coming back to once Souls fever has died down again for the year. (I’ll still be playing a lot of Clash Royale because I’m weak. I’m so weak.)

1. Salt and Sanctuary

Alright, so Souls fever was already going strong last month, too. If you haven’t heard of Salt and Sanctuary here’s the elevator pitch: It’s the missing link between Dark Souls and Symphony of the Night. 2D Dark Souls, if you will. And, at least from the first dozen hours or so, it’s good enough to earn that title. It’s not perfect, and doesn’t quite nail everything that makes Dark Souls special, but it comes way closer than anything else I’ve played. Close as in, well, it pretty much rips off Dark Souls wholesale. From the near-replica menus, to the weapon choices and upgrades, everything feels like Souls run through a 2D engine. Whenever I’m done with Dark Souls 3, I’m glad this will still be around to keep me satisfied.

2. Hyper Light Drifter

I’ve not finished this one yet either, but wow is it an impressive start. The first hour is frustrating as hell because the game refuses to spell anything out for you. But as soon as everything clicks? Oh wow, does it all click. This is another game that wears its inspiration on its sleeve. Hyper Light Drifter is what Zelda would be if it were stripped down to its basics, and then the combat was overhauled into something much faster and more satisfying. You’re exploring dungeon areas to find treasures and shortcuts, but the extreme difficulty is what the game prides itself in. At first it feels like way too much to handle, you have a dash move that can be comboed into other dashes or sword swipes, a 3-hit sword combo, a gun that only refills ammo once you’ve done melee damage, and then other systems are thrown in later once you’ve acquired a few upgrades. You’ll dash around enemies who could take off huge chunks of your health in one blow, and time your lethal finishers just when they’re at their most vulnerable. Then you’ll spin around and fire your last bullet into the guy you barely saw taking aim at you from across a bridge. Once you’ve mastered your skills, it’s hard not to feel like the world’s greatest ninja at the end of every fight. It’s immensely satisfying when it all comes together, and I can’t wait to jump back in and explore this harsh world some more.

3. Clash Royale

Ugh.

Honorable Mentions

Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight – A stylish Metroidvania that satisfies through most of its short run time. There’s a definite Souls influence here, and a wide world worth exploring to find its many secrets.

Peter Panic – It’s a WarioWare-inspired broadway musical with funny writing and cute minigames. More please!

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD – The new art gives this game the personality it deserved the first time around. And it’s probably way better than you remember.

The Division – I had to get rid of this game because I put so many hours into it the first week it came out that I didn’t feel comfortable seeing where my life would go if I kept that up. 6/10.

So there’s this thing called Clash of Clans that makes zillions of dollars a day but I’ve never touched it. It seemed like a dumb pay-to-win mobile MOBA or something (I’m still not sure) and I never gave it the time of day. A new game that looked really similar popped up on the App Store called Clash Royale, and I downloaded it after hearing some positive buzz. There’s a part of me that wishes I hadn’t.

Clash Royale is by the same developer of Clans and uses the same world and characters, but plays like a multiplayer tower defense game. Each player has three towers, and you build a team of characters to deploy to stop the opposing team from taking your towers down. It’s fun to learn tactics and figure out how to shut an opponent down right before they deliver a game winning finisher. You’ll summon dragons that have area-of-effect damage to take out smaller squads of creatures, hordes of skeletons to focus attacks on larger enemies, and more. Everything you can deploy has a solid counter against it, and building your “deck” relies on you learning these counters and planning one step ahead of the other player.

But building these decks is where the money-grubbing comes in. You’ll unlock a few new cards and be able to upgrade a few every day, but if you’re wanting a full crew you’ll almost certainly have to spend some real-world dough. Each victory nets you a chest with a cooldown timer until it opens, usually between 3 and 24 hours, and each has varying levels of loot. If you’re desperate for a certain strong card and the odds just aren’t in your favor, it’s easy to shell out some cash and open a bunch of chests quickly to cheat the system. Each character also has a level attached to it, which raises depending on how many cards you have. So you can play someone with level 7 characters while yours are just level 4, and the only difference is that the other guy spent $15 out of pocket to get them there. It’s pretty gross.

The actual action of the game itself is so fun, I can’t stop myself from coming back. Each time I load up the game I’m closer and closer to dropping ten bucks just to get some new options, but it just feels weird to me that that’s how I’m meant to progress. Soon those cards may become obsolete and I’ll just feel like I need to shell out more cash to be competitive. I’ve yet to spend any money on the game yet, and I’ve had a lot more fun with Clash Royale than some games I’ve spent $20, $40, or $60 on at retail. But knowing that the main reason I could steamroll newer players is because I’ve paid just doesn’t feel right. It’s weird, right?

If you’re up for an entertaining phone game with a morally nebulous pricing model, check out Clash Royale here.

JULY 2016 UPDATE: I finally deleted this awful game and feel so much better for it. This thing was the worst. Pretty fun, but also the worst.